Director, writer and performer Kathy Burke experienced suicidal impulses as a result of menopause, she confided in an interview with the Observer magazine this weekend.
Burke, 58, who has survived a series of serious physical health scares during her career, reveals that her most recent struggles with mental health may have been the hardest to conquer. In a discussion about attitudes to death ahead of the launch of his podcast, Where There’s A Will, There’s A Wake, he explains that during a difficult period in his 50s he continuously planned the best way to kill himself.
“I started having pretty dark suicidal thoughts,” she confides. “I’ve always had bouts of depression, but this was something else. I don’t mind telling you it was pretty terrifying.”
Burke said his deteriorating mental state followed his recovery from a debilitating illness that led to a dependence on steroids. Reaching menopause was the catalyst for severe depression. Although Burke understood the cause, hormone replacement therapy was not possible due to her other medication.
She was worried, she recalls, about who would find her body if she had killed herself, and even planned to rent a hotel room with a private bathroom so she could leave a note warning hotel staff “not to come in, take the manager, get the police.” The resolution of this imaginary problem was the beginning of his return to sanity.
“It was weird, it was kind of, once I made that decision, I was able to relax … Then the depression started to kick in a little bit,” he said.
Burke, who directed Jennifer Saunders in a West End production of Oscar Wilde’s comedy Lady Windermere’s Fan four years ago, said her physical health problems began 30 years earlier, after receiving the award at best actor at the Cannes festival for his acclaimed performance. in the Gary Oldman film Nil By Mouth.
A bout of the digestive condition diverticulitis landed Burke in the hospital, where she contracted an infection that worsened her pre-existing blood clotting condition. Such a strong blow to his constitution shattered his mental capacity.
“Oh, but I’m so glad I didn’t kill myself during menopause,” Burke concludes.
“It would have been a bit of a shame. But listen, that didn’t happen. I got through and I’m so glad I did.”
In the UK, Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org. You can contact the mental health charity Mind by calling 0300 123 3393 or visiting mind.org.uk.
In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international suicide helplines can be found at befrienders.org