Nick Kyrgios declared: “To be honest, I hardly know who I am.” This is his greatest professionalism and focus in the months following his run to a maiden Grand Slam final at Wimbledon.
Kyrgios said he was lucky to “survive” a second-round test against France’s Benjamin Bonzi in a hard-fought and dramatic 7-6 6-4 4-6 6-4 victory at the US Open.
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“I was very lucky to go through in four sets… It was one of those matches where you survive,” he said.
In his post-match press conference, Kyrgios revealed that he is currently putting himself under “the most pressure” of his career, knowing now that he is capable of competing for a Grand Slam.
“This year has been amazing in so many different ways,” he said.
“For my tennis, I wanted to almost reinvent myself and get back to the top of the game where I know I belong.
“The Wimbledon final was a turning point, I think, mentally for me. If I won that match I don’t know where my motivation would have been.
“Losing it and being so close, it was really hard for me to swallow. Winning Washington, winning so many matches. I feel like I thought the pressure would come off me after (almost) winning Wimbledon. Wow, like, ‘He’s a finalist of Wimbledon.” It’s almost over the hump, kind of thing.
“But for me personally, I didn’t think I would put that pressure on myself. Every day I go in, I watch what I eat, I try to sleep, every practice session I try to have a good intention.
“I hardly know who I am anymore, to be honest. Because it’s not me.”
The Australian continued: “I’m trying to balance so many different things, it’s hard. The media, the fans are crazy everywhere I go, I’m trying to balance my personal life and my tennis. It’s a lot.
“I never thought it would be… I feel like I’m really professional right now. I never thought the Wimbledon final would make me like this. I thought it would be the other way around, almost like kind of relaxed, kind of chill about it.
“It’s stressful.”
Kyrgios acknowledged that he can be a perfectionist on court, adding that he probably needed to “be a little kinder” to himself.
“It’s very stressful now because every game I play I expect to play so well, (and) such a clean performance is a bit unrealistic in a sport like this where you just play day after day, travelling,” he said.
“I’ve probably got to lower the expectations of expecting to play like a Wimbledon final every time… I’ve got to be a little bit kinder to myself, I think, and just lower the expectations a little bit.”
“I feel like at this point in my career I don’t want to let people down. I feel like I represent so many people. I know how much work there is, with my team. There’s a lot of people supporting me.
“I just remember doing a press conference here maybe three or four years ago. I lost in the third round and I felt horrible. I kept falling short of expectations and winning.
“So I’m sitting here, and I think that’s probably the biggest pressure I’ve ever had on myself. I know that now I’m capable of going to a Slam final. I really want to achieve and I want to lead my team with me. I want to do it together.
“I’m definitely a perfectionist on the court. I feel like I can play four or five big points, then I make one (bad) one and I go crazy. It’s like, ‘It’s okay!’ I don’t know, it’s hard.”
Kyrgios next takes on American JJ Wolf, heaping praise on the 23-year-old in his post-match press conference.
“I expect an incredibly tough match, I know it won’t be easy at all,” Kyrgios said.
“I’m excited, a young gun. I love playing these young guys,” he added.
“I never thought” – he burst out laughing as he said – “I’ve been on tour for ten years and I’m calling young people!”.
Originally posted as ‘I almost don’t know who I am anymore’: Nick Kyrgios’ stunning ‘turning point’ admission